COWBOY POETRY: Grandpa’s Cell Phone

Bryce Angell is a cowboy poet. Angell was raised on a farm/ranch in the St. Anthony, Idaho area with approximately 75 head of horses. Horses remain an important part of Angell's life. Angell shares his poetry with Cache Valley Daily every Friday.

I’ve lived so many years without a cell phone at my side. Then my wife bought me
an iPhone, been a rollercoaster ride!

She said, “We’ll get you Facebook. Check the grandkids every day. You’ll see
their faces even though two thousand miles away.”

I love to watch the videos of grandkid’s soccer games. And read their comments
how the other team had called them names.

But when I text my comments, ‘twas disastrous from the start. My crooked
fingers pressed a GIF. Embarrassed this ol’ fart.

I know my grandkids love me. But they think I’m old as dirt. And when I’m on the
phone they say, “It’s time for high alert!”

My brand-new cell phone surely is a mystery to me. I prob’ly should be thinking,
“Keep it under lock and key?”

So, I accidentally found this girl named Siri, on my phone. She always wants to
help me. Better leave that gal alone.

Cuz, I shudder what my wife would say. She’s the jealous type, you know. Ya get
two ladies fighting, hard to say what who might throw.

My son text me the other day. Said, “Check your Facebook page. You better take
a seat, it’s gonna rattle your ol’ cage.”

I opened up my Facebook page. I’d never done before. It claimed I played with
paper dolls. I hoped there wasn’t more.

How did I type in paper dolls? It must be someone’s ploy. So, I changed the
disappointing words to plain ol’ country boy.

The general population thinks a cell phone is a must. I might agree if only I had
fingers, I could trust.

Yes, my cell phone keeps me guessing. It’s been trouble as a whole. And by the
way, so far, my phone ain’t called a single soul.

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