COLUMN: A collection of irrelevant lists

Harry Caines contributes a weekly column to CacheValleyDaily.com. His column is a work of opinion, and does not reflect the views of Cache Valley Daily, the Cache Valley Media Group, or its employees.

<p dir=”ltr”><em>“I poured spot remover on my dog. Now he’s gone.”</em>

—Stephen Wright

Thanksgiving is a strange week to do a column. There are tons of relevant subjects to discuss—-but this really is not a week where we should concentrate on politics and society’s ills. I can do that next week. Instead, I will do something I love doing. I will make this week’s column a group of lists.

Please, add on to my lists, or post one of your own.

<strong><strong>

</strong></strong>THREE THINGS I LOVE ABOUT THANKSGIVING THAT ARE NOT FOOD RELATED

1. Playing Christmas songs after desert.

<p dir=”ltr”>2. MarioKart tournament with my kids.

<p dir=”ltr”>3. Football

<strong><strong> </strong></strong>

<p dir=”ltr”>FOUR TV DRAMA SERIES I WATCH EVERY WEEK

1. The Walking Dead

<p dir=”ltr”>2. Boardwalk Empire

<p dir=”ltr”>3. Homeland

<p dir=”ltr”>4. Revolution

<strong><strong> </strong></strong>

<p dir=”ltr”>THREE REASONS WHY I AM A REPUBLICAN

1. They are mostly right on economic issues.

<p dir=”ltr”>2. Their fringe extremists are easier to deal with than the Democrat’s nutjobs.

<p dir=”ltr”>3. Ronald Reagan

<strong><strong> </strong></strong>

<p dir=”ltr”>FIVE WORDS I TRY TO USE EVERY SINGLE DAY

1. Slather

<p dir=”ltr”>2. Manifest

<p dir=”ltr”>3. Peculiar

<p dir=”ltr”>4. Whilst

<p dir=”ltr”>5. Disturbingly

<strong><strong> </strong></strong>

<p dir=”ltr”>FIVE CELEBRITIES WHO DIED IN MY LIFETIME THAT I WISH WERE ALIVE

1. Stanley Kubrick

<p dir=”ltr”>2. Sam Kinison

<p dir=”ltr”>3. John Lennon

<p dir=”ltr”>4. John Belushi

<p dir=”ltr”>5. Kurt Cobain

<strong><strong> </strong></strong>

<p dir=”ltr”>FOUR STAR TREK ALIEN RACES THAT MAKE FOR GOOD TV

1. Klingons

<p dir=”ltr”>2. Vulcans

<p dir=”ltr”>3. Ferengi

<p dir=”ltr”>4. Romulans

<strong><strong> </strong></strong>

<p dir=”ltr”>THREE OVERRATED U.S. PRESIDENTS

1. Franklin Roosevelt

<p dir=”ltr”>2. Woodrow Wilson

<p dir=”ltr”>3. Andrew Jackson

<strong><strong> </strong></strong>

<p dir=”ltr”>FIVE REALLY GOOD STEPHEN KING BOOKS

1. ‘Salem’s Lot

<p dir=”ltr”>2. The Shining

<p dir=”ltr”>3. The Langoliers

<p dir=”ltr”>4. Christine

<p dir=”ltr”>5. The Dead Zone

<strong><strong> </strong></strong>

<p dir=”ltr”>FOUR THINGS THAT I LOVE ABOUT UTAH

1. Incredibly low crime rate.

<p dir=”ltr”>2. Utah State University.

<p dir=”ltr”>3. When I need quiet, I get boatloads of it.

<p dir=”ltr”>4. My children’s education.

<strong><strong> </strong></strong>

<p dir=”ltr”>TOP FIVE BEST CHRISTMAS SONGS

1. Adeste Fideles by Bing Crosby

<p dir=”ltr”>2. Little Drummer Boy by the Harry Simeone Choir

<p dir=”ltr”>3. Blue Christmas by Elvis Presley

<p dir=”ltr”>4. Have Yourself A Merry Little Christmas by Judy Garland

<p dir=”ltr”>5. Anything done by the Mormon Tabernacle Choir

<strong><strong> </strong></strong>

<p dir=”ltr”>TOP THREE REASONS WHY ELEPHANTS ARE THE GREATEST ANIMALS ALIVE

1. No other animals mess with them.

<p dir=”ltr”>2. They stay in family units for a long time.

<p dir=”ltr”>3. They let you know when you should leave immediately.

<strong><strong>

</strong></strong>FIVE REASONS WHY PHILADELPHIA IS AWESOME

1. The Mummers Parade (Look it up.)

<p dir=”ltr”>2. The best food on Earth

<p dir=”ltr”>3. Yuengling

<p dir=”ltr”>4. The Arts

<p dir=”ltr”>5. The history

<strong><strong> </strong></strong>

<p dir=”ltr”>And finally, the top 5 things I am thankful for:

<p dir=”ltr”>1. My kids.

<p dir=”ltr”>2. I am alive and reasonably healthy.

<p dir=”ltr”>3. I have good friends.

<p dir=”ltr”>4. Enjoying simple pleasures in life, such as a good song or a good movie.

<p dir=”ltr”>5. That I live in America.

No matter how fervently the capitalists are trying to bypass Thanksgiving, each of us keeps this wonderful holiday alive. Whether you are with family or not, or if your life is currently on a good run or bad, take a few moments this week and realize that there are things that make every day worth living.

Life is good…even when it ain’t.

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